Getting your script right is the first step to great comedy, but it’s not always easy to make a realistic assessment of whether it’s funny. That’s where I can help. I’ve reviewed and revised hundreds of comedy scripts over a long career as a writer.
I can point you towards the parts of your set which are strongest and make recommendations on improvement, while at the same time helping you edit your material so it’s as tight as it can be. I’ll be honest with you about the bits which I think may not work so well and get you back on track with your best ideas.
See an extract of one of my edits below…
You’ll get a comprehensive report on your material, which will help you hone and develop your ideas, giving you the best possible chance of making your audience laugh.
You can submit up to 3 pages of A4 script, which will equate to around 8 minutes on stage. See sample script below.
Price: £50
Example Set Review;
The following extract from a script was sent to me by a girl who’d signed up for Theo’s Comedy Skool. She was very much at ease with her sexuality and happy to be coarse and vulgar with regard to it. Her point of difference, if you like, was the fact she is a lesbian.
KEY:
TEXT IN BLACK IS THE COMEDIAN’S ORIGINAL
TEXT IN RED ARE MY ADDITIONS
TEXT IN BLUE GIVES REASONS FOR CHANGES AND EDITS
THERE ARE SOME ADDITIONAL ‘EDITOR’S NOTES’ IN BLUE, WHICH I HAVE SINCE ADDED, SO YOU CAN UNDERSTAND THE CONTEXT BETTER.
Me: Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Ursula Updyke..
You: Good evening ladies and gentlemen, yes, I’m Ursula Updyke…of course that’s my stage name.
I chose Ursula because of it’s girliness, because I’m afraid to say that I am sometimes confused for a man…I know!…can’t think why.
As for ‘Up-dyke’…well I’ll leave you to work that one out for yourselves.
Yes, shock horror ladies and gentlemen, ‘Lesbian found in Touch-wood’ which ironically is the one thing I’ll never do.
EDITOR’S NOTE: ‘Touchwood’ is the name of the complex where the theatre is situated; it was too good an opportunity to miss. Of course, she couldn’t use this material anywhere else, but audiences do tend to like it if you can find a local reference which is amusing.
It’s not as if I conform to the stereotypical view of a lesbian…(LOOK UP AN DOWN YOURSELF)…oh, sorry, yes I do…
I got together with my friends to see if they could help me come up with a stage name. So far we’ve had Fanny Flange, Clarissa Clitoris, and Martha Minge-muncher.
Right well I haven’t died yet! I came on this course to overcome fear of public speaking. My hope is I have, my fear is that I haven’t, I will let you be the judge of that. I have thought about will I die coming out here. These thoughts have promoted a reflection into how I would like my death to be in my sleep like my Grandfather, unlike his screaming passengers. When I told work colleagues I was going on this course they laughed, they’re not laughing now.
I’ve taken the above section out because I don’t think you need to feel on the back foot so much. You might be nervous, but you don’t want the audience to be unsettled by that. The ‘grandfather’ gag is funny, but it’s an old joke and many people in the audience will have heard it before.
My name is Nancy King it’s not really but my real name is Gender neutral, so I thought I would give you a head start.
We’ve replaced ‘Nancy’ with ‘Ursula’ because it’s a funnier name and gives you a lead in to the vulgar ones your friends suggested.
I am quite familiar with the occasional glare and stare. Even in MacDonald’s they were clearly wondering what gender I am. At the end of the day I want a burger, not a fuck- does it matter? When I was growing up and I hadn’t come out to my parents or friends I often wondered is it better to be gay or black, I came to the conclusion that it would be easier to be black rather than gay, if you’re black you don’t have to tell your parents. Unless you’re Rachel Dolezal! That’s a topical ‘isn’t America weird?’ joke, straight over the heads of a cosmopolitan Solihull audience, can only think most of you have been shipped in from Shirley.
EDITOR’S NOTE: Solihull is regarded as a fairly upmarket district, Shirley, which is close by, is thought to be it’s much poorer cousin.
When I did grow up and come out I moved to the Midlands to go to University, I didn’t go. I worked in the Pet shop, but I got the sack for having my hand stuck in the Trill Then I had rather a traumatic time working in upholstery…it’s okay, I’m totally recovered now. Then working at Specsavers guess who bumped into me? Everybody.
(Doesn’t quite work the Specsavers one. I think the problem here is that the audience will get to the punch line before you do, they’ll be able to see where you’re going and that will dilute the humour. Would this be any better…Then I worked in specsavers where an old school friend bumped into me…so did every other fucker come to that!)
So now I have worked for the NHS for the last 25yrs. To date my biggest medical blunder was on myself – I thought I was applying Canestan and discovered I’d picked up the Deep Heat instead…I know what you’re thinking girls, ouch!…it was quite nice actually though it smelled awful… the Deep Heat, that is.
Suppose I should’ve gone to Specsavers eh?! (I’ve maybe taken this punch line too far away from the original Canesten gag?)
Blokes in the room are thinking ‘isn’t canesten for athletes foot?, well yeah it is, but it’s also for your fanny, especially athlete’s fanny! (STARE LONGINGLY INTO THE MID DISTANCE FOR A FEW MOMENTS)…that’s my kinda girl.
I have been out with a real life model Jane. I woke in the night to find her next to me crying and drinking neat vodka .I said what’s wrong and she sobbed, (DO SOBBING VOICE…OBVS) “I’m going to lose them, lose them I say”, “What are you going to lose Jane?” “my looks”…(EXASPERATED) “my looks…”
“… its alright for you (PAUSE) you never had them”.